There are a number of things people never tell you about college. Beyond that, there are certain things that never get thought about. One such thing occurred to me this morning…
“You don’t have to move mountains. Simply fall in love with life. Be a tornado of happiness, gratitude and acceptance. You will change the world just by being a warm, kind-hearted human being.”1
When I was at school, there were times I felt lonely. Part of it was the ever dreaded homesickness, but there was another feeling, a very deep-set feeling I had trouble discerning at such a young age. Suffice it to say, I came to understood the feeling as a desire to be in an intimate relationship with another. I wanted to share my breath with someone, my eyes, my touches. I thought a girlfriend was the answer. So I met a beautiful female and we shared space together. And we shared time together. And eventually we moved in together. We became entangled and entwined, we fought we loved, we screamed and yelled. We strangled one another with our paranoias and choked each other with our fantasies. We lost ourselves in one another.
Don’t do that!
The thing that never gets talked about or even thought about for college students in America: learn how to be alone, learn how to be alone AND totally cool with it. I’m not saying get rid of your friends and disown your family. I’m not even saying go into solitude or become a hermit. I’m simply saying, when you find yourself with no one to chat with, not a soul around, and your mind is empty, don’t panic! Take it as an opportunity to be with yourself. Sit down. Listen to the birds. Watch the wind gently rustle through leaves. Breathe.
College is a time for study. Especially self study. Take the time to get to know yourself. Find out what makes you happy. Ask yourself these questions. What kind of routine keeps me on top of my game? What time do I like to go to sleep and wake up to tap into my optimum potential? What makes me happy? What satisfies me?
It is important at a young to learn how to be alone, not only how to be alone, but how to be alone and own your independence. Do not depend on another person to make you happy. If you can be alone and happy, you will be an asset to the social world, your work world, and in your personal relationships, you will find that much more ease and fun if you bring your own happiness to the table.
1 Anita Krizzan